Breathe it in

The setting: Early morning, beachfront yoga in a Hawaiian paradise. A birds chirping, sun shining, waves crashing cliché, Forgetting Sarah Marshall style. A yogi’s dream come true. An ideal way to kick off a week of relaxation and overindulgence. There is no place I’d rather be.

I had arrived just in time. The shade looked heavenly but was overbooked so I set myself up in the leftover sunny spot. I talked myself into believing this was a great idea because well…. vacation. We began with Child’s Pose and 10 minutes of bliss. Some gentle stretching, the glorious sun on my face, green grass below me, blue on blue in front of me. Not a care in the world. And then, like clockwork, BAM! That damn anxiety thing. That annoying little voice that pulls you away from wherever you are to remind you of past or present mistakes and suggests you think about any possible unpleasant, ridiculously improbable or just completely average situation you might encounter. Hijacking your time and experience for the sake of preparedness or a case of the should or shouldn’t haves.

Brain:

Why did I decide to do this right now? We just got here. I can do this tomorrow. I’m being selfish. I should be checking out the resort with my family! I’m missing out on their excitement!

Move your body – Mountain Pose

What time is our dinner reservation tonight? Ooooh I hope the timing works with the sunset because I really need that Christmas card shot.

Move your body – Forward Fold

I should have gone to save shady chairs by the pool. What if we’re stuck at the kiddie pool?!

Move your body- Downward Facing Dog

Ok- glorious sun on my face no more. It’s freakin’ hot! Ohhhhh the shade….

Move your body –  Low Lunge

Wait – why am I thinking about ANYTHING right now? This is fantastic and I should be soaking it up.  Now I’m having anxiety about my anxiety.

Move your body – Crescent Lunge

As my thoughts spiraled through a series of first world problems, the instructor offered a familiar phrase – “Remember to breathe.” Ahhhh – breathing. That was my problem. I was doing it, but had forgotten to recognize it. If you were to ask my children, “deep breath” is a solid staple in my catalog of Mom quotes. An instant reminder that we’re alive and ok. A signal to your body to calm the heck down and revisit the present moment. Inhale…. exhale – two little words that don’t get enough love in everyday life but in yoga, they get to shine. No matter the distractions we face or thoughts that run wild in our heads, yoga always reminds us to come back to our breath. When we bring conscious awareness to the air flowing in and out of our lungs we have no choice but to let go of what happened yesterday, what might happen tomorrow, or whatever seems unbearable at the time. We are brought back to the present moment, to where we actually are and what’s actually in front of us. The only place we ever really have. It’s a shame to miss out on living because of the mind’s never-ending quest to bring us elsewhere, isn’t it? Our breath is a steadfast, overlooked and underutilized tool at our immediate disposal with the power to remind us to fully experience life. One inhale at a time.

As I sit writing this in a coveted shady spot on my last day in paradise, I am tempted to go looking into next week – the laundry pile that awaits, a plan for Thanksgiving dinner, a crucial post vacation detox. But this moment deserves my full attention. It’s one of those “once in a lifetimes” and needs to be savored, cemented in my memory. So instead, I breathe it in.

I inhale…. the sun’s sparkle on the water.

Exhale… the heavenly sound of my children’s laughter.

Inhale… the smell of coconut sunblock.

Exhale… the loves of my life and the best sand castle ever.

I am here now and only here. Right where I need to be.

“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliot

Namaste,

Lara